The Unknown

Dear Layla,

Let's just be honest, Daddy and I know almost nothing about babies. You are our guinea pig. Our lab rat. Our test subject. We know that we're going to make a ton of mistakes and pray that you turn out okay despite our mishaps. Please try to remember the good times during your childhood if you ever end up in counseling as an adult. We'd appreciate that.

Or, if you want to do us a favor, could you be born as a well-mannered, toilet-trained 2 year old? I know I would feel a lot more confident if that were the case. No, you don't want to do that for your Mother?! You want to be born as a normal, naked newborn?! Fine then, but I DID warn you.

Throughout my pregnancy I have been shocked by all the things I didn't know about babies. My only experiences with babies has been through babysitting in high school and holding some one's baby for a few minutes. I am certain that there is more to raising a child then changing, holding, feeding, and burping but that is all that I really know. In fact, I learned just a few weeks ago that I'll have to wash your clothes in special baby-friendly laundry detergent. Shocking!

My knowledge on pregnancy is just as limited. I have already learned so much in these 7 months. Below is a list of the things I've learned/experienced that I wasn't prepared for. Consider this my "Dummies Guide to Being Pregnant for the First Time".

• Boobies - They will grow. Basically that's all you need to know. One day I went to bed with my ordinary little A-sized boobs and woke up with C's. I felt like Jennifer Aniston in the movie "Bruce Almighty" when she bounced up and down and exclaimed "Look at them!" because her boobs had grown overnight. I went shopping that very weekend to purchase my first over-the-shoulder-boulder-holder and placed my pitiful, little bras in the back of my undie drawer. According to all the pregnancy books, I'll be wearing those little ones again real soon. Dang.
• Heartburn - You will have it . . . a lot. I never knew what heartburn was before getting pregnant. I could eat spicy food with hot salsa poured on top and wash it down with a shot of Tabasco without problem. You, my dear, changed that big time. I didn't even know what was happening when I experienced heartburn for the first time. I'm an idiot. For almost a week I tried to sleep while propped up with multiple pillows to ease the pain. Finally, after dinner one night, I told Daddy that I felt like I could spit fire. That's when it hit me that I was having heartburn and should get some Tums. I now eat 2 or 3 Tums a day because heartburn sets in after almost every meal. Just the other day I got heartburn from eating one Hershey's Kiss. ONE HERSHEY'S KISS?! Are you kidding me? I've heard that you will be born with a ton of hair because of all the heartburn I've had these months. Guess I should stock-up on ponytail holders.
• Belly Button - It grows too. For some people it may seem obvious that your belly button would grow right along with your belly, but I never really thought about it. I still can't believe the size of my belly button. Daddy likes to tease me and stick his finger in it to measure it's new size. I'm secretly afraid that one day he'll stick his finger in and it will go so deep that my belly button consumes his whole hand much like a black hole. Then again, my big, new belly button is still better than getting an outie.
• Water Works - I have cried and cried throughout these months. Sometimes it's for no reason at all. During dinner with Daddy and Uncle Jason around Thanksgiving, I just started crying. Daddy just told Jason, "She does this" and he was right. I DO just cry without reason. The pregnancy books warned me that my emotions would be really out of whack, but nothing prepared me for the buckets and buckets of tears that I have cried because of nothing. It's been bizarre.
• Naps - I only thought I had out-grown them. Even if it is only for a few minutes, taking a nap has been a glorious thing. I have always been a heavy sleeper (I slept through a hurricane in college) and being pregnant has only amplified things. More than once I've fallen asleep on the couch only to have Daddy wake me up to say, "Go to bed" and while staggering to bed, notice that it's only 8:30 at night.
• Aches and Cramps and Pains, oh my - Daddy and I are exercising people so feeling sore wasn't anything new to me. But being pregnant has taken "soreness" to a whole new level. At least once a week I wake up with severe leg cramps that bring tears to my eyes. (See what I mean about crying?!) And no, bananas don't help. Also, my hips hurt all the time. I feel like the Tin Man from the Wizard of Oz without his oil. My legs are so tight that it hurts to walk. After just a few steps, my legs seem to loosen and I can walk and run without problem, but its those first few movements that hurt like heck. Daddy often tells me to let him know if he is walking too fast, which is sweet and embarrassing all at the same time. My waddling must be annoying.

Okay, so there you go Layla. That is what I have learned about being pregnant. I have really enjoyed being pregnant so please don't think otherwise. And as far as learning about actual babies goes, I'll have to wait for you to arrive to work on that. Or take a parenting class - which ever comes first.

Love,

Mommy

Genetics

Dear Layla,

There are some things that we can't control. Things like eye color and height are predetermined for us based on our genes. I remember reading in some Science textbook that "genes are the building blocks of life". Daddy and I are worried about one gene in particular - the eyebrow gene. We both have thick, black eyebrows and we fear that you will be born with two fuzzy caterpillar-like eyebrows across your forehead. But, like I said, it's out of our control. Blame it on your genes and not us. I'll buy you some pink Tweezers for your first birthday to make it up to you.

There is one gene that we are quite proud to pass onto you. It's the Florida gene. Scientists know nothing about this gene and they'll look at you like you're insane if you mention it. Daddy and I know it's legitimate. Layla, although you will be born in Tennessee, you are a Florida girl. Can't genes be wonderful?!

Because of the Florida gene, you will love all things Florida-related. The beach, sunshine, convertibles, tank-tops, flip-flops, the smell of sun screen, Florida orange juice (because there IS a difference in Florida's OJ and evey other kind), and many other things will make you extremely happy just because of their connection to the greatest state in the country. Those are just some of the genes characteristics.

Perhaps the best characteristic of the Florida gene is your undying love for the University of Florida. All things orange and blue will be wonderful to you. You will want to name your teddy bear Albert. Daddy and I will be able to soothe you by singing the Florida Fight Song. Tim Tebow will be the subject of your fourth grade biography report. A trip to Gainesville will be as exciting as going to Disney. "Go Gators" will be your first sentence. It's all in your genes. Your welcome Baby Girl!

Daddy and I are both graduates of the University of Florida. We met at college and even got married on the campus. UF is in our blood and it will be in yours too. As I am writing this you are only seven months along in the baking stage, but Daddy and I have already talked about you going to college. We hope that UF is where you decide to go. We've just got to figure out how we're going to pay for it.

Love,

Mommy

What's in a Name?

Dear Layla,

Hannah Anna Emmons. Try saying that three times fast - Hannah Anna Emmons, Hannah Anna Emmons, Hannah Anna Emmons. Isn't it a good time?! Daddy and I wanted to name you Hannah Anna Emmons just because it's fun to say. For years we told people that we were going to name our future daughter Hannah Anna Emmons. Most people groaned. We loved seeing their reactions. Priceless stuff!

Of course we weren't totally serious, only just a little bit serious. We honestly loved the name Hannah, but when Daddy's cousin named her daughter Hannah, we had to go back to the drawing board. This is the story of how we picked Layla Beth Emmons as your name.

When we found out that we were pregnant, Daddy and I began thinking of names. Many people warned us that choosing a name would be a struggle. However, we thought of a boy name instantly. So instantly in fact that it was almost scary. I don't think we have ever agreed on anything so quickly. Daddy and I have a harder time deciding on what to have for dinner than picking a boy name. What the heck?! If you had been a boy, you would have been named Noah Chandler Emmons. We liked "Noah" because it is just so stinkin' awesome and "Chandler" after my maiden name. (Perhaps you already have a little brother named Noah Chandler Emmons. That's creepy to imagine Little One!)

This is just a side note . . .

The only bad thing about getting married and being a girl is having to change your name. Okay, so you don't HAVE to change your name but I wanted to do the traditional thing because I like to keep it old-school. Anywho - I had a decision to make: to drop my middle name Nicole or my last name Chandler. What to do? What to do? What to do? I made Daddy make the decision for me. I told him that if a dropped Nicole then I wanted to name our daughter Nicole and if I dropped Chandler then I wanted to name our son Chandler. He chose Chandler. I guess that if I get really technical we named our future son way back during our engagement.

The hunt for the perfect girl's name was on! I found myself checking out the names of female waitresses, store clerks, TV personalities, cartoon characters, whatever. I even paid extra close attention to sports announcers who I normally ignore because they annoy the crap out of me just in case they mentioned a girl name that could be The One. It was life-consuming.

While watching a Gator game, I fell in love with the name Riley after the too-cute-for-words Riley Cooper. Daddy even thought that Riley would be a great name! Wahoo! Next mission: select a middle name.

Needless to say, Riley didn't stick. Mission Middle Name: failed. It was back to the drawing board again. I feared that we would never decide and I would be forced to sign your name as Baby E on your birth certificate.

Everyone had an opinion about a name. We had quite a laundry list of potential names, but nothing seemed to fit. One day I timidly suggested the name Layla. It was a name that I have secretly loved for years. During my third year teaching one of my students had a sister named Layla who was just precious. She was a super sweet girl. All teachers know that there are certain names that are cursed and the children are destined to be awful. Just ask a teacher - we know what's up!

Layla is also the name of an Eric Clapton song. I always wanted my name in a song and thought it would be a great gift to give my daughter. Wouldn't it be just too cool to have your hunky boyfriend sing Clapton's song to you? Perhaps he'll look like Riley Cooper! Oh the cuteness!

Much to my surprise, Daddy and other family members liked it. I was thrilled! A name that I have adored could be The One! Holy friggin' crap! It was now time for a second attempt at Mission Middle Name.

We chose Beth in honor of Daddy's Grandmother named Elsbeth. Omi, as we call her, raised your Daddy. She is very special to Daddy and deserving of a namesake as sweet as you. I know that you will grow up to make her very proud. Mission Middle Name: accomplished. Whew!

So there it is Layla Beth - the story of your name. I hope that you love it as much as I do. Just think, you almost ended up as Baby E Emmons. I couldn't do that to you because it would just look too weird on your college diploma from the University of Florida, but more on that in a later letter.

Love,
Mommy