Dear Layla,
Who needs "The View" when I can have this as a morning talk show?
Who needs "The View" when I can have this as a morning talk show?
Love,
Mommy
Sunday, June 20, 2010
Thursday, June 17, 2010
Tom Cruise Doesn't Know $#@$ About Postpartum
Dear Layla,
A few years ago Tom Cruise went insane. He was always a bit of a weirdo, but he really took it to a new level. It all seems to have gone downhill for him when he started dating Katie Holmes. Now I was a big fan of Katie Holmes back in the day. "Dawson's Creek" was the show! But, as it turns out, dating Katie made Tom crazy or maybe he went crazy from Scientology. Either way - he's a nut job.
At the height of his craziness he did an interview with Oprah where he started jumping up and down on her couch like a two-year old on his parents' bed. He did this to proclaim his love for Katie. Umm . . . why didn't he just take her out to dinner, get her name tattooed on his arm or buy her something shiny? That's all pretty normal behavior. Couch jumping, as a general rule, shouldn't be the manner in which a man shows his love.
He did another nutty interview with Matt Lauer on the "Today" show. This interview accounts for two instances of insanity. First, he used the word "glib". I didn't even know "glib" was a word so I thought he was being extra-insane by making up words on national television, but as it turns out, it's a real word. Secondly, he made several comments about Brooke Shields and her postpartum depression. She used medication and therapy to treat her condition. Tom Cruise, being a board certified doctor and all, criticized her treatments. Oh wait - he's not a doctor, he's just crazy and perhaps thinks he is one. Why did he think he had any authority to talk about postpartum?! He is crazy, crazy, crazy.
Postpartum effects mothers in different ways. Some women can have feelings of helplessness, shame, despair and perhaps thoughts of suicide. I never experienced anything quite so severe, but I did experience some feelings of postpartum.
It began the day we brought you home from the hospital. Daddy suggested that I ride with him to pick up something for lunch. All I had to do was sit beside him in a car, drive to Firehouse Subs, and return to you. I thought it was a great idea! G-Ma and Omi were going to watch you for that short trip so I didn't need to worry about a thing. I had my shoes on and ready to go when a wave just washed over me. I literally couldn't move. Tears filled my eyes. I couldn't leave you. We had spent 3 days in the hospital together and the thought of leaving for those 30 minutes made me lose control. I cried huge crocodile tears. I cried so hard that I cried myself to sleep. After that nap, I didn't feel refreshed or relaxed, I cried a little more because I embarrassed myself in front of my family. It was a sad day. My grade for the day: F. "F" for failure to do anything.
I finally worked up the courage to leave you on Mr. Mike's birthday. G-Ma was still in town and couldn't wait for Daddy and I to leave so she could have you all to herself. I got dressed-up, kissed you good-bye, and headed out the door with confidence. I kept telling myself, "Just make it to the car. That will be better than last time". Well, I did make to the car! Score! However, I did cry three times and asked Daddy to call and check on you once. My grade for the day: C. "C" for crying when I should have been enjoying my friend's birthday cupcakes from Muddy's. No one should cry while eating cupcakes. . . that's just a rule.
A day or so later, Daddy and I attempted a lunch date again. There was no excuse not to go since G-Ma was in town so off to T.G.I.Fridays we went. My goal was to get through a meal without crying. That was a struggle. First the hostess tried to seat us at a high-top table. I was near tears. I knew that I couldn't sit on a hard surface like that after having you just a few days prior. But, I was a brave girl! I calmly took a breath and said that I needed a booth. No tears! Daddy explained the reason and she sat us at a comfy booth with a television nearby. I only remember the t.v. being close because it brought me to tears. I had made it through my entire grilled ham and cheese (I craved grilled cheese during my pregnancy BIG TIME!) and salad meal, and was waiting on the check when a commercial came on that sent the tears flowing. In the commercial a woman was at the hospital and had just given birth. Her husband must have given her some amazing Hallmark card for Mother's Day because she read it and started crying. Just seeing the happy couple and their sleeping newborn made me cry. My grade for the day: C. "C" for copycat crying.
Now please understand that my postpartum symptoms were probably on the mellow side but I felt out of control. I just couldn't control my emotions. It is something that I am still struggling with today and you are two months old.
But at least I didn't go completely crazy like Tom Cruise.
Love,
Mommy
A few years ago Tom Cruise went insane. He was always a bit of a weirdo, but he really took it to a new level. It all seems to have gone downhill for him when he started dating Katie Holmes. Now I was a big fan of Katie Holmes back in the day. "Dawson's Creek" was the show! But, as it turns out, dating Katie made Tom crazy or maybe he went crazy from Scientology. Either way - he's a nut job.
At the height of his craziness he did an interview with Oprah where he started jumping up and down on her couch like a two-year old on his parents' bed. He did this to proclaim his love for Katie. Umm . . . why didn't he just take her out to dinner, get her name tattooed on his arm or buy her something shiny? That's all pretty normal behavior. Couch jumping, as a general rule, shouldn't be the manner in which a man shows his love.
He did another nutty interview with Matt Lauer on the "Today" show. This interview accounts for two instances of insanity. First, he used the word "glib". I didn't even know "glib" was a word so I thought he was being extra-insane by making up words on national television, but as it turns out, it's a real word. Secondly, he made several comments about Brooke Shields and her postpartum depression. She used medication and therapy to treat her condition. Tom Cruise, being a board certified doctor and all, criticized her treatments. Oh wait - he's not a doctor, he's just crazy and perhaps thinks he is one. Why did he think he had any authority to talk about postpartum?! He is crazy, crazy, crazy.
Postpartum effects mothers in different ways. Some women can have feelings of helplessness, shame, despair and perhaps thoughts of suicide. I never experienced anything quite so severe, but I did experience some feelings of postpartum.
It began the day we brought you home from the hospital. Daddy suggested that I ride with him to pick up something for lunch. All I had to do was sit beside him in a car, drive to Firehouse Subs, and return to you. I thought it was a great idea! G-Ma and Omi were going to watch you for that short trip so I didn't need to worry about a thing. I had my shoes on and ready to go when a wave just washed over me. I literally couldn't move. Tears filled my eyes. I couldn't leave you. We had spent 3 days in the hospital together and the thought of leaving for those 30 minutes made me lose control. I cried huge crocodile tears. I cried so hard that I cried myself to sleep. After that nap, I didn't feel refreshed or relaxed, I cried a little more because I embarrassed myself in front of my family. It was a sad day. My grade for the day: F. "F" for failure to do anything.
I finally worked up the courage to leave you on Mr. Mike's birthday. G-Ma was still in town and couldn't wait for Daddy and I to leave so she could have you all to herself. I got dressed-up, kissed you good-bye, and headed out the door with confidence. I kept telling myself, "Just make it to the car. That will be better than last time". Well, I did make to the car! Score! However, I did cry three times and asked Daddy to call and check on you once. My grade for the day: C. "C" for crying when I should have been enjoying my friend's birthday cupcakes from Muddy's. No one should cry while eating cupcakes. . . that's just a rule.
A day or so later, Daddy and I attempted a lunch date again. There was no excuse not to go since G-Ma was in town so off to T.G.I.Fridays we went. My goal was to get through a meal without crying. That was a struggle. First the hostess tried to seat us at a high-top table. I was near tears. I knew that I couldn't sit on a hard surface like that after having you just a few days prior. But, I was a brave girl! I calmly took a breath and said that I needed a booth. No tears! Daddy explained the reason and she sat us at a comfy booth with a television nearby. I only remember the t.v. being close because it brought me to tears. I had made it through my entire grilled ham and cheese (I craved grilled cheese during my pregnancy BIG TIME!) and salad meal, and was waiting on the check when a commercial came on that sent the tears flowing. In the commercial a woman was at the hospital and had just given birth. Her husband must have given her some amazing Hallmark card for Mother's Day because she read it and started crying. Just seeing the happy couple and their sleeping newborn made me cry. My grade for the day: C. "C" for copycat crying.
Now please understand that my postpartum symptoms were probably on the mellow side but I felt out of control. I just couldn't control my emotions. It is something that I am still struggling with today and you are two months old.
But at least I didn't go completely crazy like Tom Cruise.
Love,
Mommy
Sunday, June 13, 2010
Breaking Up is Hard to Do, Part 2
Dear Layla,
It's pretty hard to believe that you've been here a month. It's also pretty hard to believe that it's taken me a month to complete this post. How do I begin to tell you that I loved you during my pregnancy but even more now? I don't know how that's even possible, but it is. The simple fact that you are so stinkin' adorable helps.
During Part 1 of this letter I wrote about us "breaking up". It's now time for me to tell you about your actual birth day. Unlike the sleek dramatizations created by 20/20 or Dateline with the cool cut-aways and edits, this is just a story. It may be "just a story", but it was one of the greatest days of my life.
You were scheduled to be induced on Monday, May 3rd. At my last appointment the previous Monday, Dr. Byrd didn't think you would sit still and wait. This sent shock waves through the family. Your Grandparents (That's my parents. Can you just name them already?!? For the sake of future letters, I will call them G-Pa and G-Ma. You can change this whenever.) were flying into town from Jacksonville, Florida, Uncle Jason was flying in from Washington D.C., and Daddy's Grandparents, Mom, and brother were driving from Pensacola all on Saturday. If you decided to grace us early, they would have missed it. I prayed all week long for you to wait until Saturday.
Saturday came and you were still tucked neatly into my belly. You are such a perfect child!! :-) Despite major, I mean, MAJOR flight delays -I'm talking many hours of flight delays and missed planes all due to tornado warnings - all the family members made it to Memphis for your big day. Once everyone got here I gave you permission to make like a baby and head out! Buzinga!
You didn't listen. We waited all of Saturday night. No action other than the massive storms, flooding and tornado threats. We waited all of Sunday. No action other than massive storms, flooding and tornado threats. Do you see a pattern here?! Sunday night we all went out to dinner at one of my favorite places called Boscos. It was our Last Supper of sorts. You had decided to wait until Monday.
So as Daddy and I went to bed Sunday night, we set the alarm wicked early - 3:00 am to be exact. I think we just laid there talking about you for hours. How could we not? We were like kids on Christmas Eve trying to sleep but just too anxious about getting that new bike/video game/Barbie/whatever that we had begged Santa for.
When the alarm went off, Daddy and I slowly got ready. I don't think I said anything. I was purely lost in my thoughts. We woke up G-Pa and G-Ma, took one finally picture as a couple, got into the car, and headed to the hospital
. I still hadn't spoken to Daddy. I wasn't mad, just in a daze I guess. Daddy decided to drive through Shelby Farms. It was still pretty dark yet, but I still looked for the horses. I thought, "One day she'll want to ride the horses. Won't that be fun?!" As we passed a nail salon, I noticed the "Open" sign was still lit from the previous day. I said, "Wanna stop and get a mani/pedi together?" Yep - that was the first thing I said to him. Charming.
After checking into the hospital, the nurse took your Daddy and I to the delivery room. I was then started on pitocin and told to wait. After nine months of waiting, we had more waiting to do. Dr. Byrd arrived around 8:00. He decided that I was still at 2 centimeters dilated and that he would come back around lunch. He told us that if everything continues as it was, then you would arrive around dinner.
You, as always, had different plans. At lunchtime, Dr. Byrd told me that I had dilated to 9 centimeters and that I would begin to push in about an hour. I was shocked and for what felt like the 100th time, I cried. We were going to break up within an hour!?
Thanks to the miracle of modern medicine, labor and delivery went really smoothly. It wasn't anything like in the movies. The scene of Katherine Heigel pushing in the movie "Knocked Up" kept flashing in my mind. She screamed and swore. I did not. There wasn't any yelling
or cussing out your Daddy. We were actually laughing. We were able to listen to the sound of your heartbeat beat through the contraction monitor. It sounded like a galloping horse. G-Ma and I kept laughing about it. Daddy and I commented several times that you were going to be in our arms within a few moments. And when I heard your scream, I felt such joy. I was so thrilled to know that you were here! I said, "Oh my gosh, she's here!" Instantly Dr. Byrd replied, "No she's not! She's only half way out. Just give me a little push". You were only half way delivered and already alert! Guess Dr. Byrd didn't need to stimulate you!
During the whole pregnancy, Daddy said he didn't want to look as you came out. He was certain it would gross him out. G-Ma gets nauseous at the sight of blood so I knew she wouldn't look. They both surprised me on that day. After hearing you scream and Dr. Byrd say that you weren't fully delivered, they both peeked. I forget what Daddy said, but G-Ma's comment was priceless; she said, "Oh my gosh! This is amazing!" It was awesome!
Once you were completely out, Dr. Byrd placed you on my chest. All I saw was your butt rather than your sweet face. Don't get me wrong - it's a perfectly nice butt, but it wasn't your face. A nurse then came to get you, clean you, weigh you, measure you, and do other things to you that prevented me from seeing your face. Daddy got to hold you once she was done. I was so jealous! He was holding you and I still hadn't seen your face. I asked him to come hold you beside me. So it was while you were in Daddy's arms that we saw each other for the first time. That was our first family moment.
Now, there will be some women that will read this letter and scoff that I had an epidural. To them, I scoff back. I mean, seriously ladies - I had an epidural and perhaps you didn't, but didn't we both leave the hospital with the same thing . . . a baby? You don't get some gold medal for pushing for hours until you reach the point of pure exhaustion. And, as I previously discussed, Layla was a perfectly healthy baby. Moving on . . .
The rest of the weekend was a whirlwind. Family and friends stopped by to meet you. Snuggling with you became everyone's favorite hobby. It was great. And after two nights at the hospital, we brought you home. Daddy and I had arrived at the hospital as a couple and left as a family.
Greatest. Break Up. Ever.
Love,
Mommy
It's pretty hard to believe that you've been here a month. It's also pretty hard to believe that it's taken me a month to complete this post. How do I begin to tell you that I loved you during my pregnancy but even more now? I don't know how that's even possible, but it is. The simple fact that you are so stinkin' adorable helps.
During Part 1 of this letter I wrote about us "breaking up". It's now time for me to tell you about your actual birth day. Unlike the sleek dramatizations created by 20/20 or Dateline with the cool cut-aways and edits, this is just a story. It may be "just a story", but it was one of the greatest days of my life.
You were scheduled to be induced on Monday, May 3rd. At my last appointment the previous Monday, Dr. Byrd didn't think you would sit still and wait. This sent shock waves through the family. Your Grandparents (That's my parents. Can you just name them already?!? For the sake of future letters, I will call them G-Pa and G-Ma. You can change this whenever.) were flying into town from Jacksonville, Florida, Uncle Jason was flying in from Washington D.C., and Daddy's Grandparents, Mom, and brother were driving from Pensacola all on Saturday. If you decided to grace us early, they would have missed it. I prayed all week long for you to wait until Saturday.
Saturday came and you were still tucked neatly into my belly. You are such a perfect child!! :-) Despite major, I mean, MAJOR flight delays -I'm talking many hours of flight delays and missed planes all due to tornado warnings - all the family members made it to Memphis for your big day. Once everyone got here I gave you permission to make like a baby and head out! Buzinga!
You didn't listen. We waited all of Saturday night. No action other than the massive storms, flooding and tornado threats. We waited all of Sunday. No action other than massive storms, flooding and tornado threats. Do you see a pattern here?! Sunday night we all went out to dinner at one of my favorite places called Boscos. It was our Last Supper of sorts. You had decided to wait until Monday.
So as Daddy and I went to bed Sunday night, we set the alarm wicked early - 3:00 am to be exact. I think we just laid there talking about you for hours. How could we not? We were like kids on Christmas Eve trying to sleep but just too anxious about getting that new bike/video game/Barbie/whatever that we had begged Santa for.
When the alarm went off, Daddy and I slowly got ready. I don't think I said anything. I was purely lost in my thoughts. We woke up G-Pa and G-Ma, took one finally picture as a couple, got into the car, and headed to the hospital
. I still hadn't spoken to Daddy. I wasn't mad, just in a daze I guess. Daddy decided to drive through Shelby Farms. It was still pretty dark yet, but I still looked for the horses. I thought, "One day she'll want to ride the horses. Won't that be fun?!" As we passed a nail salon, I noticed the "Open" sign was still lit from the previous day. I said, "Wanna stop and get a mani/pedi together?" Yep - that was the first thing I said to him. Charming.After checking into the hospital, the nurse took your Daddy and I to the delivery room. I was then started on pitocin and told to wait. After nine months of waiting, we had more waiting to do. Dr. Byrd arrived around 8:00. He decided that I was still at 2 centimeters dilated and that he would come back around lunch. He told us that if everything continues as it was, then you would arrive around dinner.
You, as always, had different plans. At lunchtime, Dr. Byrd told me that I had dilated to 9 centimeters and that I would begin to push in about an hour. I was shocked and for what felt like the 100th time, I cried. We were going to break up within an hour!?
Thanks to the miracle of modern medicine, labor and delivery went really smoothly. It wasn't anything like in the movies. The scene of Katherine Heigel pushing in the movie "Knocked Up" kept flashing in my mind. She screamed and swore. I did not. There wasn't any yelling
or cussing out your Daddy. We were actually laughing. We were able to listen to the sound of your heartbeat beat through the contraction monitor. It sounded like a galloping horse. G-Ma and I kept laughing about it. Daddy and I commented several times that you were going to be in our arms within a few moments. And when I heard your scream, I felt such joy. I was so thrilled to know that you were here! I said, "Oh my gosh, she's here!" Instantly Dr. Byrd replied, "No she's not! She's only half way out. Just give me a little push". You were only half way delivered and already alert! Guess Dr. Byrd didn't need to stimulate you!During the whole pregnancy, Daddy said he didn't want to look as you came out. He was certain it would gross him out. G-Ma gets nauseous at the sight of blood so I knew she wouldn't look. They both surprised me on that day. After hearing you scream and Dr. Byrd say that you weren't fully delivered, they both peeked. I forget what Daddy said, but G-Ma's comment was priceless; she said, "Oh my gosh! This is amazing!" It was awesome!
Once you were completely out, Dr. Byrd placed you on my chest. All I saw was your butt rather than your sweet face. Don't get me wrong - it's a perfectly nice butt, but it wasn't your face. A nurse then came to get you, clean you, weigh you, measure you, and do other things to you that prevented me from seeing your face. Daddy got to hold you once she was done. I was so jealous! He was holding you and I still hadn't seen your face. I asked him to come hold you beside me. So it was while you were in Daddy's arms that we saw each other for the first time. That was our first family moment.
Now, there will be some women that will read this letter and scoff that I had an epidural. To them, I scoff back. I mean, seriously ladies - I had an epidural and perhaps you didn't, but didn't we both leave the hospital with the same thing . . . a baby? You don't get some gold medal for pushing for hours until you reach the point of pure exhaustion. And, as I previously discussed, Layla was a perfectly healthy baby. Moving on . . .
The rest of the weekend was a whirlwind. Family and friends stopped by to meet you. Snuggling with you became everyone's favorite hobby. It was great. And after two nights at the hospital, we brought you home. Daddy and I had arrived at the hospital as a couple and left as a family.
Greatest. Break Up. Ever.
Love,
Mommy
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