Breaking Up is Hard to Do, Part 1

Dear Layla,

It was a week ago that I scheduled an induction for Monday, May 3rd at 4 am. 4 AM?!? It was that hateful, yucky nurse that I don't like that set that up. I swear that woman has it out for me.

I was so excited to know exactly when you would come. I am such a planner. Not knowing when you would arrive was making me feel a little crazy. Well, not crazy, more like CRAZY! I was obsessing over very little tiny thing: gotta pack the bag, gotta wash and iron the clothes (Let me just say that I haven't turned on the iron in months, but you needed ironed things!), gotta put the cradle together, oh, and gotta eat more chocolate! Perhaps the last one wasn't totally necessary, but I was determined to make those last few days of diet-free eating count!

But that was then and this is now. . .

Yesterday Dr. Byrd told me that you probably won't wait until Monday. Hole-Lee-Crap. You are down in the birth canal and I've dilated 2 centimeters. I called Daddy as soon as I left the doctor's office. He said, "But that ruins our plans!" I calmly replied, "I don't think she gives a damn." You, little missy, are in control of our lives yet again. So much for my scheduled induction and plans for a easy, relaxing week to prepare for your arrival. I am back on the edge and all plans are off. Urgh . . . but in a good way of course!

Although I am so excited to meet you, see you, cuddle with you, and strap you into your Baby Bjorn thing and walk around with you hanging from my chest, I am really going to miss you being in my belly. I feel so connected to you. I can tell when you are about to move and kick. I get this soft, floaty feeling and then *wham* you let me have it. Occasionally you kick so hard that it makes me yelp. People turn around so fast. I guess they fear that I am going into labor.

I am really going to miss moments like that. I know that you can't stay inside forever but I don't know if I am really ready to break up with you. Once you are born I will have to share you with other people! Blech! Don't get me wrong - I am not scared of labor and delivery. I am just sad that our exclusive time AKA pregnancy time is ending. It makes me sad.

Just like the title suggests, this is only the first part of this letter. I will write to you again after we "break up".

Love,

Mommy